ehh

I really wish I was one of those people that didn’t care to party. Like do i have no life?? hah literally nothing more exciting to me then knowing i can laugh so hard and have crazy memories with my friends while partying. Like all my friends sometimes say “we need to quit” or “let’s only drink a few nights a week this summer,” yet I don’t even kid myself because i know that’s all i’ll be doing. I rally need to get my shit straight. I may not show it, but i am a religious person, and it scares me that i believe God is coming back, and i disregard the fat that it could be any moment. I really hope that I can grow old and finish college and live my life before he comes, but why should he let us live longer when we aren’t trying to live for him? eh it’s so scary to think about!! I’m growing up, leaving home, and i’ve spent the time living with my mom often lying to her an not spending time with her. it’s going to be so freaking sad when i wake up one day and realize that i will never ever get to be mommy’s little girl living at home begging her to go out for the weekend. It’s my last week of high school, it’s over. I used to be so excited about graduating and begin free and independent but i honestly just wanna stay home, go to walter state and live with my mom. I never stop and think how much she does for me. ?! yay I’m spoiled. i’m gonna miss laying in the living room with her watching secret life of an american teen ager, or her yelling at me to come watch american idol. sometimes i say all this and an hour later i snap out of this perspective and just wanna have fun. i hateeeee growing up! UGGGH. just wish i never would have partied or knew what it was to leave home for the weekend..